Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Last and First Americans

Books I Will Very Probably Neither Read Nor Write...

Last and First Americans

Before there was George Washington, there was... Brewski Lee!

Brewster 'Brewski' Lee was just an easy-going all-American DA who worked 24/7 stopping libertine liberals destroying American liberty. He had nothing against China - he drank more Tsingtao beer than the rest of Oklahoma put together. His ancestors had fled two thousand years of communist tyranny to pull themselves up by their bootstraps in the land of the free. America had been the land of the free - once. But now folks just did what they liked. That was no way to stop the unstoppable long stumble of ten billion bred-in-the-bone collectivists towards world domination. And when the USA meekly joined the Celestial People’s Republic as ‘New Xinjiang’ without a fight or a murmur, BREWSKI LEE SAW RED!

So when his sizzling, sozzled, schoolgirl-snogging scientist sister accidentally invented a time machine during their boozed-up wake for Uncle Sam, Brewski knew what he had to do. Oriental despotism had gotten an unbeatable head start over Western liberty - this time around. But what if liberty had struck root first?

Armed only with the headful of ancient Chinese lore he learned at his grandfather’s knee, and a heartful of values from the vanished Real America, Brewski embarks on a perilous one-way trip to become one of the founding sages of a redeemed future Empire.

History won’t know what’s hit it, when it meets... SHANG YANG, MAN OF LAW!!!!

This mostly frivolous post is brought to you by the month of February, and by the nagging suspicion that this may have already happened.

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