Thursday, 28 January 2010

On Motherhood and Apple Pie

As my nation shuffles grumblingly and unenthusiastically to a General Election in which the runaway popular choice, "Smack Them All In The Face With A Big Dead Wet Fish", has been arbitrarily ruled ineligible to stand, I am once again doing my little bit to slam the brakes on the democratic Dumb Train assist my readers in doing their democratic duty. Today, we examine an often-troublesome issue in the translation of polspeak.

LOUDMOUTH LARRY LAMPREY SAYS:
We think it's absolutely essential that our society agrees on the importance of motherhood and apple pie.

PATSY PUBLIC HEARS:
We think it's absolutely essential that we all respect motherhood, and value the small wholesome pleasures like apple pie.

LARRY LAMPREY MEANS:
We think it's absolutely essential that we all agree on what constitutes good motherhood, and what is the best recipe for apple pie.

I'm sure we can all agree on the importance of that. Have a Golden Delicious, Ma! You're over your sugar ration for the week, and our Family Health Champion says you wouldn't want to set the littl'uns a bad example...

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