Thursday, 23 April 2009

Merry England!

It is St George's Day, the sun is shining, and the apple trees have all put their best blossoms on. Once again it is time to raise a glass to the happy nation that has blessed the world with birthday-boy Will Shakespeare, proper beer, and certain other advantages to which modesty forbids my alluding.

I take particular pleasure, as I think these mellow thoughts over a nice cool pint of Marston Pedigree Ale, in reflecting that our lack of any 'Government of England' deprives us neatly of any gang of knaves and jingos who can conveniently co-opt us into their shenanigans by the old metonymy shuffle: no ENGLAND VOWS LEADERSHIP IN WAR ON CHOCOLATE headlines for you, sonny boys! The mere prevalence of knaves and jingos themselves is a separate problem, and the subject of urgent research. That is why England is committing twenty million pints of beer today alone to forgetting about the silly beggars for a bit, and having itself some fun. Cheers!

Old England shall be merrier before this day is out. Indeed, the only person I know who is not enjoying the festivities is my pet dragon Margarita - who customarily spends the whole evening hiding under my bed, frightened by the lack of of fireworks.

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